Growing Pains?

Growth can be a joyful experience. My joyful growth memories include my first motorcycle, earning job promotions, graduating from degree programs, strengthening relationships, buying a home, a happy marriage, and the list goes on. I’m sure you too have plenty of joyful growth memories, memories of transitioning from one way of being to another. Growth can be a painful experience. My painful growth memories include healing after being hit by a car while riding my first motorcycle, eliminating chronic anxiety created by being in foster care, reclaiming missed opportunities, overcoming imposter syndrome, navigating deceitful people, asking for forgiveness, and the list goes on. I’m sure you too have plenty of painful growth memories, memories of transitioning from one way of being to another. However we perceive our growth experiences and however we choose to process and remember them, our transitions follow the universal pattern of order-disorder-reorder. Another way of expressing the human growth experience is: recognizing the ‘what is’ (order), transitioning out of ‘what is’ (disorder), and creating the new ‘what is’ (reorder). The pattern itself is judgment-neutral and shouldn’t be saddled with labels of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ any more than melting ice to water or a pupa’s metamorphosis to butterfly is good or bad. This relentless pattern is simply the transition from one state of being to another.

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